Ruth & Pen by Emilie Pine

Author:Emilie Pine [Pine, Emilie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780241986257
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2022-03-03T00:00:00+00:00

3.10 pm

The girls will be fine. They have her number. Though it is hard not to feel guilty, leaving them like that. She’ll be in the café, if they need her.

Lisa is there before her, at the counter, and just at this moment she twists her head round, sees Ruth coming into the atrium, and waves, ‘Hello!’ Lisa points at the cake display and then to two plates already in front of her, a slice of chocolate, a slice of lemon.

‘Thanks,’ Ruth says. ‘You know me too well!’ And Lisa turns and there on her front – nestled, is that the word? – is the baby. A bullet of panic in Ruth’s stomach. Because she has not moved on, she has not lost her real longing.

‘It’s so great to see you!’

‘And look,’ Lisa gestures at the empty space around her, ‘no buggy, hurrah!’

‘That’s great,’ Ruth says, taking the tray. She follows Lisa to a table at the edge.

‘God, though, it takes me about an hour just to leave the house and then I realise on the way I haven’t even looked at my face.’

Ruth knows she has to say something. ‘She’s perfect, Lisa.’ It’s unmistakable, the glow of pride and love that emanates from her friend’s face.

‘Isn’t she?’

If it was hard to see Lisa with a growing bump over the spring and summer, then this is far worse.

‘I’ll give you a hold later if you want, but she’s just drifted off. I’m not sure if she’ll even let me sit down. God, I’m starving, that’s something they don’t tell you. It’s all, “Breastfeeding shifts the weight,” but I am doing nothing but eating.’

Ruth smiles, ‘No, you look great on it.’

‘Stop, Zach has to say things like that, you I keep for your honesty.’

‘Okay,’ Ruth concedes, ‘you look a bit tired.’

‘Better,’ Lisa nods, turning her attention to the cake.

Ruth takes a few bites herself, feels the sugar surge.

‘You know,’ Lisa says, ‘there should be a rule that no marriages can break up within the first year of parenthood, just so no woman is afraid of eating or crying or farting her partner out of the place.’ She pauses for comic effect. Then realises Ruth has frozen. ‘Are you okay?’ she asks.

‘Oh, please,’ Ruth says, ‘not the counsellor voice.’ And there must be something in her tone, because Lisa nods.

‘I have those healthcare provider papers, let me give them to you while I remember. It’s not an exaggeration when they say baby brain, though sleep-deprived human-slave brain, which no one fucking tells you either, is more like it. Here,’ Lisa waves the pages, ‘the cover letter says we just renew the terms. We’re lucky, that solicitor did a good job on the practice agreement, it’s fairly straightforward.’

Ruth remembers the man, his eagerness, his office full of stacked boxes. They had been unsure, nervous at the last moment, setting up on their own, had needed him to give them some seal of approval. How long does it take, Ruth wonders, before you feel

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